Divorce and Remarriage

All people have a desire for human community. God created mankind in the context of community, specifically marriage (Gen 1:27). God was the one who decided it was not good for Adam to be alone (Gen 2:18). Being alone Adam could not fulfill God’s commands to multiply, fill the earth, and subdue it (Gen 1:28). While the earth has been filled the fulness needs to be maintained. Thus, marriage became, and remains, the primary building block of community. Because the primary building block for human community is still marriage (Matt 19:11), many who experience divorce will seek to remarry, risking the heartbreak and chaos of divorce once again. People who are disciples of Jesus Christ must count the cost of discipleship in all areas of life, this includes remarriage and stepfamilies. Committed believers who are considering remarriage after a divorce know that a second marriage will bring additional challenges. However, pursuing a second marriage does not mean settling for second best.

A man and woman who find each other and are considering remarriage need to take the time necessary to consider all the additional stresses of remarriage, particularly if children are involved. They need to count the costs such as child discipline, child support, school schedules, co-parenting with ex-spouses, and so forth. In Luke 14:28, Jesus says, “For which of you, desiring to build a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it?” Jesus is giving an illustration about the cost of discipleship, which is clear from Luke 14:27. Counting the cost of a second marriage can be daunting. The focus of my doctoral work was premarital counseling for 2nd marriages. During my years in ministry, I have witnessed the heartbreak of divorce. I have also seen the joys and challenges that come with second marriages and putting together a stepfamily. Divorce and remarriage are issues near to my heart and I love working with couples preparing to get remarried and putting together blended families. Let’s count the cost together and follow Jesus in a new marriage!